Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
