listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love you.
Bad choice
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
