im about as happy as oj after his trial
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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