I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
