By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
