i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
