pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize