Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize