it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
