worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
