I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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