Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
