he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
