Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
