Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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