i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
