Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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  (843): did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity? http://tfl.nu/ve53
  Replies (21) Good night (2493) Bad night (798)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

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  (615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4
  Replies (33) Good night (5368) Bad night (1014)
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  (564): View more from Washington

  He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

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  (564): He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns http://tfl.nu/yiwx
  Replies (13) Good night (4863) Bad night (1604)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1070) Bad night (3761)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.

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  (860): i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm. http://tfl.nu/uzjb
  Replies (20) Good night (3993) Bad night (1171)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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  (513): I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food. http://tfl.nu/mdny
  Replies (4) Good night (2499) Bad night (725)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.

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  (570): I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end. http://tfl.nu/kio4
  Replies (21) Good night (2725) Bad night (1325)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

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  (210): Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!" http://tfl.nu/xp9i
  Replies (19) Good night (5779) Bad night (1130)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.

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  (727): I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed. http://tfl.nu/37u4
  Replies (11) Good night (1841) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."

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  (918): When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being." http://tfl.nu/i99y
  Replies (7) Good night (660) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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  (787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo
  Replies (8) Good night (695) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

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  (540): I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end. http://tfl.nu/cc0x
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (263)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?

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  (612): The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened? http://tfl.nu/olcd
  Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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  (432): I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too... http://tfl.nu/soax
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (342)

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