I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night