Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.