The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?