sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Still dying that you shit outside
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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