it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT