Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

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  (517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher. http://tfl.nu/b9fx
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (1534)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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  (917): My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star. http://tfl.nu/572f
  Replies (13) Good night (2253) Bad night (1054)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?

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  (218): Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew? http://tfl.nu/rj2z
  Replies (22) Good night (2715) Bad night (647)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.

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  (603): My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state. http://tfl.nu/6i4f
  Replies (43) Good night (5300) Bad night (1776)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity

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  (403): There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity http://tfl.nu/85sl
  Replies (9) Good night (3855) Bad night (1328)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to my life

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  (970): I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big (720): Welcome to my life http://tfl.nu/0f9d
  Replies (34) Good night (6107) Bad night (1037)
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  (845): View more from New York

  What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

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  (845): What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know http://tfl.nu/y6wb
  Replies (5) Good night (4337) Bad night (1203)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"

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  (401): Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life" http://tfl.nu/0dy4
  Replies (5) Good night (5305) Bad night (991)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed

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  (480): He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed http://tfl.nu/idar
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (2595)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3707) Bad night (965)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?

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  (848): You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself? http://tfl.nu/hc7l
  Replies (5) Good night (1649) Bad night (899)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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  (402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l
  Replies (14) Good night (2511) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"

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  (609): I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies... (1-609): You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award" http://tfl.nu/ecqm
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (320)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.

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  (360): I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/531t
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (421)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success

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  (314): everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success http://tfl.nu/6cn0
  Replies (0) Good night (326) Bad night (265)

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