Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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