Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize