My underwear smells like fireworks.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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