Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
