The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
