The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
