your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids