loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life