dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
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I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.