Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.