Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man. http://tfl.nu/0eqn

Replies (9) Good night (2482) Bad night (1120)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm

Replies (57) Good night (17369) Bad night (1379)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries. http://tfl.nu/38u7

Replies (10) Good night (1081) Bad night (3257)
Favorite
(909): View more from California

Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(909): Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome. http://tfl.nu/gu2z

Replies (29) Good night (5444) Bad night (751)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time. http://tfl.nu/hpfk

Replies (38) Good night (5292) Bad night (727)
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill http://tfl.nu/swr0

Replies (22) Good night (720) Bad night (5922)
Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan http://tfl.nu/otnu

Replies (44) Good night (6526) Bad night (1141)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

(219): View more from Indiana

you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

(646): View more from New York

nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest.. (219): you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked. (646): nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us.. http://tfl.nu/wc73

Replies (31) Good night (1390) Bad night (4856)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing. http://tfl.nu/tg4w

Replies (12) Good night (6259) Bad night (1232)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified http://tfl.nu/xfst

Replies (9) Good night (1441) Bad night (838)
Favorite
(604): View more from British Columbia

You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(604): You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement. http://tfl.nu/pi1i

Replies (2) Good night (1152) Bad night (418)
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home. http://tfl.nu/6de1

Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (401)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up http://tfl.nu/o2ud

Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (350)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter. http://tfl.nu/3ul6

Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (177)
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit. http://tfl.nu/yqm1

Replies (2) Good night (137) Bad night (430)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: