New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
