It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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