Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
