I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
