I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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