you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
