k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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