You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
don't judge my taste in strippers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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