i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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