If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize