some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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