this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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