I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
