I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
