Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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