Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's like iHOP with fire
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
