dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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