Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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