I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
