You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I need moral support for this bender
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize