if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
