i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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