I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
