I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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