I skipped work to stalk him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
