do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
