who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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