Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You can't special order awesome
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
