I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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