Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
