My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
